Relaxing Walk

Hello again,

It turned out to be a very hectic day for me after all. I didn't even have breakfast until 12:30 this afternoon, it just seemed that everything snowballed. I started doing one thing and it lead to another and then another.

Finally around 4:30 I got finished for today, I did stop for a half hour visit with my 92 year old friend. Then I finally decided it was time for my solo walk by the water. I geared up and away I went, I have to tell you the scenery here is breath taking to say the least.

As I walked along the coast I could feel the gentle breeze blowing on my face and through my hair, the sun warming me as I walked. I feel so exhilarated at these times in my walk, as I watched the gulls and numerous other birds frolic around in the low tide looking for a snack.

I am hoping this is yet again another beginning to get back to the things I really like doing in life. I will tell I mind the loneliness, it is very hard being alone all the time. So it would seem I am keeping so busy that I literally fall into bed nights, too tired to think about things for any amount of time.

But I also know this will ease as I get use to it, getting some kind of routine set up will help a great deal I am sure. I will only now allow myself to think about the things I like and what I would like to do in the coming months and years. At least I can look forward to these things now, it will soon be 5 months since I have been on my own and I am slowly adjusting. Do I regret leaving, NO.

We all need to decide what we as individuals are willing to accept from others in our lives. I knew back then and have had it confirmed so many times since then. So many people have come forward with things I was never aware of, I just wish I would have known these things years ago. But that is a wasted wish, that I know.

I just put on a nice little fire to warm the place tonight as it is suppose to get cold, hopefully it will still be warm in the morning.

Good night everyone,
Pixie:)

Night Out

Good morning,

It is a beautiful Sunday morning here, and I am enjoying it by being lazy! I am still sitting here drinking coffee and playing on the computer, I guess I will soon have to shower and start the day but not just yet.

My best friend Kelly and I went out last night, this picture was taken before we left. We went to karaoke and had a few drinks, it is very nice to be out and about again. Now you know why I am lazing around this morning:)

We had some good laughs last night and I am still smiling over some of them this morning, lets just say there was a pole dancing competition, and no it wasn't me. It was done as a joke by two of the girls for a few minutes, and it was hilarious!

Kelly and I spent the whole day together, we do that on Saturdays only, and Monday night we usually get together as well. This gives us both something to look forward too through our hectic week.

I have a busy day planned again of course, more house work. I didn't get a lot done yesterday and I try to get it done on Sunday so it stays good for a few days though the week while I work.

I am also soon making some bacon and eggs, now that is the way to enjoy a Sunday morning:))

I wish you all a peaceful Sunday,

Pixie:)

Cozy

Hello,

I am finally feeling cozy in my new place. I found it a little chilly tonight and so I made a fire...well it is not cold anymore now that I can tell you! I better get use to wood heat, as I haven't had that kind of heat for years.

I was to a couple of outings now and plan on going to some more. It is nice finally to be able and ready to socialized again. I am just about ready to face the long cold winter, but honestly I still mind all the alone time. But I am sure in time that will become less and less of a problem.

Most single people tell me once they adjusted to be alone they really aren't in any hurry to give up their freedom, but for me I like the sharing and caring of a relationship if it is good. Time will eventually tell what I will prefer as time goes on.

I must be starting to adjust a little because tonight is the first time in all these months that I actually bought groceries and not frozen dinners! :) Maybe time to start cooking again and creating a new life.

I have also noted the moon the last few nights, I see it much quicker here in the evenings as it passes by my window. Her pull is still strong on me and I am glad I am finally taking notice to these things once again. For the first time tonight while I was out back a little bird started singing close by, so of course I started talking to this new friend.

You know things may not be so bad after all:)
Have a peaceful night everyone,
Pixie:)

New Place

Hello

I decided to add the photo's of my place to show you. It is small but now it is comfortable.
I have all my needs met except for getting wood for the winter and I am looking into that now.
I have things pretty much done here for now, and will be able to slow down some.
It is nice to be closer to friends, and to be able to walk out my front door and be able to see them.

I am going to believe that things will now start to go better for me, am I still scared...of course I am.
But that is normal for anyone who is start over again in life, one day at a time will get me through my days. I must be getting rested as I started my 3 am wakings again, now I have to go downstairs to use my computer as my laptop needs to set up. I am not sure if I will set it up for now, the external monitor is so big as the display no longer works on it.

I am going for a walk tomorrow, I am looking forward to that. Back to work on Monday, I am so glad I took the extra days off to get this move done. My plan was just for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but I also took Thursday off and I am very glad I did. I forgot how much work is involved in moving and sorting and placing things.

My friend and I went up to the other place I was living to today and cleaned it, I passed in my key and am now totally here. There is no turning back, I will only move forward. I just hope fate has some good things planned for me for a change. Four months of pure misery has taken its toll on me, and I need some good times and laughs now.

Until next time,
Pixie:)

Moved

Hello,

I am finally moved in to my little house, and when I say little I mean little. But it is big enough for me, I even have a wood stove, that will help on those cold cold nights. It has taken forever to get things half organized, or at least to the point where I can find them.

This is the first night I actually feel at home here, and I have taken the night off to sit and relax a bit. I am beginning to believe this is a whole new start to my life, and I am ready to start living it now that I am here.

I am hoping to start exploring this place as I do have a small back yard, and if all goes well, in the spring I would like to fix the yard up and make an out door living area out there. But I guess first I need to get through the bitter cold winter that is on the way.

One really nice thing about here is there is a full size bath tub, and I have been enjoying my 2 am bubble baths before falling exhausted into my bed. The bathroom is only just big enough to turn around in, the tub is under the stairwell that goes upstairs. Every space here is well used now that I can tell you. Maybe I will take some pictures at some point and put on here for those who would like to see it.

Well that is it for this time, I wish you all a peaceful night.
Pixie

Natures friends

Hello,

I just finished loading my car with boxes, I will be storing them until I move next week. I know without a Shadow of a doubt, I will miss natures friends here. As I loaded the boxes in my car, the little birds curiously watched me. Every time I came back for another box they would land on the clothesline by my door and sing as if asking what was going on.

I have excepted them as they seem to have accepted me, and if I make a certain sound now they will come and land on the line and talk to me. I will sincerely miss that, but maybe my next place will offer some new friends from nature.

I will admit I am having very mixed emotions about this move. Closing one door means you must open another, and ready or not I can not stand still and I must open that door. I am at times looking forward to this move, but there are other times when I would rather just stay here and avoid moving on and facing my tomorrow.

But I also know that good or bad I must take this step, I know the friends I have now will be there for me and that makes this move so much easier for me. Fear is a powerful enemy, and one to be reckoned with, and I do not fool myself to think I can stop fear from happening. Whether I stay or go there will be fear on both sides, so knowing this, I will go for the unknown and put myself out there for fate to decide if it is the right thing to do.

I am tired of trying to figure out what is right and wrong, so this time I will let the hand that has guided me this far, take me forward. I can not and will not believe all that has happened is a coincident, there are just to many over the last year not to know. Some people do not believe in this, and I myself have been very skeptical...but now I can not ignore things any longer.

I guess we will all find out together, as I plan to keep all of you updated, and maybe give you a little hope that things do happen for a reason...and maybe not always bad ones. So take a deep breath with me, and wish me luck with the rest of my life...it begins next weekend.

Take care out there,
Pixie:)

Quiet

Hello,

It has been very quiet lately, I just wanted to check in and let you know I am still here. It would seem I have nothing to write about lately, I wonder if this is what they call writers block:)
Anyway, should anything interesting happen I will keep you informed.
Right now I am just packing and trying to mentally and physically prepare for my move.

Until next time,
Pixie

Weekend

Hello,

I am having a good weekend so far, I was at a friends until almost 2am this morning fixing his computer. Had a lot of trouble but I am hoping this will fix it. Tonight I went to a BBQ at my brothers, it was so nice to get out and about again.

My best friend Kelly had her tattoo done today, I have to give her credit for that. She has been thinking about doing this for five years now, and now she has done it. You go girl!:))

I finally feel that I am ready for what ever lies a head for me. I don't mind the thought of being alone as long as I can stay busy. I have promised myself I will never settle for just any relationship, it must be very special before I will ever make a commitment again.

I am now comfortable in the fact that I will remain alone if it is not that special someone. I have already had a few invitations for blind dates, but I am not interested in looking. I don't mind going out and having a good time, but nothing serious is my plan.

My X finally had his day in court and plead guilty to assault and breach! I was shocked that he actually admitted it, but very relieved. Don't get me wrong I was willing and ready to take it to court, but this was so surprising. He got one year probation, and no contact with me, my work place or where I live. He also got fined and has to go to counselling.

I know some of you are saying that is only a slap on the wrist for all he has done, but understand this. In four months, this is the first time he has had to pay for anything he has done. He seemed to be getting away with everything, which really worried me. But now he knows and so do I that eventually everyone will pay for what they do. They may not get what they deserve, but anything is better than nothing.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
Pixie:)

Good evening

Hello,

It was a very good evening this evening. My best friend Kelly came up and we went out for supper, then we did some window shopping. We had some serious talks tonight about life, as well as some tearful laughs.

We had a treat tonight and of course we wanted nuts with that...need I finish this statement? No I think not, but we laughed until we cried and I must say that felt good. I seem to be smiling more lately, and I am so glad of that.

Even after hearing the latest about my X today didn't bother me. Apparently he is now telling everyone I am calling him, why on earth would I do that? Then I ran into my niece tonight whom I haven't seen for years.
She had heard the rumours from him, and she hardly knows him. Well for all of the rest of you out there who hear the rumours...no matter what you hear, I can tell you they are not true.

I have taken pride in the fact that I will not stoop to his level. We have ended a 25 year relationship, why can't we just end it and be done with it, instead of playing these silly games?
Anyway, that no longer matters to me, it is completely over. I have moved on. I refuse to turn back no matter how difficult it gets. I will at least know I am doing things right, and I will not spread lies trying to make myself look good...I don't need to do that...unlike someone else!

Hello tomorrow,
Pixie:)