Old Friends

Hello everyone,

I am sitting here tonight thinking about my little friends I had at the last place I lived. It almost seems like a dream now that I became so close to them. Now that I am here and it is colder, I don't spend as much time out side. I miss this close contact I had with them. I am hoping the coming summer will bring some of these encounters back to me.

It is amazing to me now, how natural it all seemed to have the birds landing inches away from me, and flying so close. I could feel the wind from their wings on my face. The birds sitting on the wash line singing contently as I listened to their songs. The squirrels and chipmunks looking for fallen food, and as curious of me as I was of them.

Maybe I dreamed these things, how could that have ever happened, or be real? I f not for these photos of my friends I don't think I would have believed it. But I do remember the feelings I felt when I was around, and with them. I don't believe the language has been written yet to explain it.

Remember all your friends, human or not,

Pixie:)

Cook Pot

Hello,

I had a very interesting evening this evening and I would like to share it with you. My best friend Kelly is coming up tomorrow, I am not sure yet if it will be for lunch or supper, but I decided to make home made chicken soup, or chicken stew as I make mine thick with ingredients.

Well I went to the store and picked up everything I needed after work, once I had everything ready to start I went for a pot....guess what...I didn't have a pot big enough to make it in. Now picture me standing there with everything ready to go and nothing to make it in. What did I do, well I stood there and laughed at this situation, what else could one do but laugh and shake my head.

I borrowed a pot from a friend and figured now I was ready, I had a very good start on things. I prepared the chicken and added my spices, I peeled and diced the turnip, and potato, and went to peel the carrots. Once again I stopped and literally busted out laughing...guess what...yup I don't have a carrot peeler either! But this didn't deter me, I did it the old fashion way....with a knife:)

Now it was quite the experience, as I haven't cooked many meals like this since I moved here. I must say I did sample the soup and it tastes just fine. It has been so long since I attempted to cook things again. For the last few years of my marriage everything I made was not good enough for my ex, mostly as he said it wasn't made the way he made it, or the way he liked it. So my answer to him was, then you do the cooking because I am tired of hearing it.

That is exactly what happened, he did it his way. I never gave him the satisfaction of complaining about, because some things just aren't worth it. So even with all the problems I had, I feel good about making things my way again. I would have been happy with the compromise of sharing and experiencing different ways of making different dishes...but that would take compromise, something that no longer existed.

So now it is my way all the way:) Gawd it felt good saying that:)) Then I felt so good about the soup I decided I am also having a salad as well. Then I proceeded to scrub the upstairs and downstairs here tonight after all the dishes were done of course. Now I am going to clean the washroom, dust and then put myself into a nice candle light bath to end my day. My hope is that I will sleep in tomorrow knowing I have my work done.

Usually as soon as I wake on my day off, my first thought is all I have to do that day. This thought then will not let me return to sleep and regardless of the time I have to get up and start. I will be interested to see if this works or not. I am usually up at 5, but I am hoping for at least 8 tomorrow morning, well here is hoping. Well I need to get started again now the floor is dry.

Have a peaceful night,
Pixie:)

Darkened Skies

Hello everyone,

Tonight I went over to a friends and watched her decorating for Christmas, she always starts early:) But I think for me that might have been a mistake, as it reminded me of everything I have lost this year...no I don't mean my soon to be X husband.

I have spent the last number of years collecting, creating and painting all of my Christmas possessions. But when I left I was able to grab very little of it, and so now I have lost it. I know a lot was given away and the rest was destroyed and that hurts.

I know it is just material things...but they were important to me. I think this is going to be a very hard season to get through this year, as I will have to remember what I had. I will not attempt to replace it this year as my will and want won't be there.

I will try and enjoy this holiday as I always enjoyed Christmas, and the true meaning of it. I choose to look at it as I have to give it all up in order to truly start again. But that doesn't make nights like this any easier. So to deal with my emotions I need to be creative, so I wrote another poem.

Darkened Skies

Oh darkening skies so cloudy and grey,
When oh when will you go away.

Your cruelty so strong, while emotions are lost,
No trust in you is my complete cost.

I have paid my dues, enough for three,
Why dear fate are you so hard on me.

A lesson I must learn, and let it all go,
Do you feel my pain I would like to know?

But suffer I must for reasons unknown,
To keep the faith while the pain is shown

To a better time ahead, the dept paid in full,
To a fulfilling life, I hope this is the rule.


I hope in time the trust will return,
For it is self who has made this turn.

One day soon an understanding we will reach,
And through my pain maybe that lesson is reached.

By: Ann Gallant
November 21, 2007

Good night,

Pixie

Dancing

Hello again,

Last night I went to my work Christmas party and dance, my best friend went with me and was designated driver, and we took a couple of people with us. So I became very good friends with Mr. Labatt Blue because I didn't have to drive;) It was very nice to get out and mingle and just cut loose a little bit, it really helped bring me around. The only downside of last night is that I was thirsty all day...don't know why I sure drank enough last night....ha ha. But I still have my blue friend here and I will enjoy at least one of him tonight.

Today my mom and sister came down for a visit and lunch, and this morning I went down and visited my 92 year old friend. So I have to say this weekend went very good time wise. Sometimes I find time drags so slow, so when it goes good I am very appreciative.
It is going to be a very chilly night and I have just put another log on the fire as they say. Now it is time to go watch the flames and have a chat with Mr. Blue;)

Have a good evening everyone,
Pixie:)

Chickadee

Hello,

I had a very interesting encounter this morning with a Chickadee, I park my car in the back parking lot at work and started walking down the hill. About half way down a Chickadee flew about a foot in front of me singing his song as he went. I smiled at the closeness, and of his comfort being so close to me as he landed on a small branch as I walked by.

I continued my walk and within a few seconds this little bird again called out as he flew by and landed on another branch in front of me. I did pay attention a bit this time and looked directly at him, but for some reason I kept walking. This was strange because normally I would have stopped and chatted a bit with this wonderful creature.

I walked on and again this little bird flew by singing Chickadee Dee Dee, and again landed on a branch in front of me. This time I knew this bird wanted a little attention. I stopped and turned directly facing him and ask how he was this morning, he replied with his song and came closer to me on his branch.

I in return repeated his chickadee Dee Dee, this little wonder turned his head from side to side as if trying very hard to understand. He then sang yet again and moved very slowly to the end of his branch, keeping an eye on where I was. He then went to a pile of bird seed that was close by, he sang, and stood there looking at me but didn't eat.

I then said I wish I could understand what you were trying to tell me. Obviously he wasn't hungry as there was plenty of food there. This happening follow me all day, and I now wonder if this isn't one of the bird I had befriended before.

I know how strange that sounds, but he was so comfortable around me, and wanted to tell me something. This is the only explanation I have come up with so far. I stood and chatted a bit with him, and then headed back towards work. I looked back to see him then start to eat, but still watched me until I disappeared around the corner.

A short while ago I felt a return to nature and her wonders, but lately I have lost that feeling again. Maybe that was my wake up call to try and return to what once seemed so natural and right. I seem to have retreated into myself again, this is something I do by times. Maybe it is time to wake once again.

If nothing else it is defiantly food for thought, this is my second experience with birds lately. When I was in Lockport a few days ago I went for a walk at lunch time. Across from where I was is a school. There was plenty of children out and about and on my way all was as usual, however on the way back I noted something.

There were Seagulls flying around and I noticed two within the playground. A young girl around the age of 7 or 8 was watching these birds with interest, I stopped and watched this unfold.
This child walked towards the birds, one bird took off but the other just took a few steps away.

This girl again took some steps toward the bird, and again this bird took a few steps. I was fascinated that this child continued this games as the bird did. This went on for at least 5 minutes, finally the bird walked out an opening in the fenced in area. At this point the girl stopped and looked around the grounds, I noted she looked directly in the direction of the adults. She didn't notice me watching her, she again looked at the bird who stopped and was watching the girl as if waiting for her.

For me I began to worry that this child would go through the opening unnoticed. The girl scanned the area once more and slowly walked pass the opening and passed the bird. The bird just stood there watching her for a bit, and then flew away. I also noticed that now the adults were watching her, so I continued on thinking deeply about what just happen.

How determined that child was to catch that bird, it was almost like watching a battle of wills. This is another situation I am trying to understand, I find human behavior so interesting. What would be different to have made that girl go through that opening and possible be in danger. Was it her up bringing, her fear of being caught, or did she realized the more she followed this bird the more he would move away. This is a good question and one I am sure no one would agree on.

What does it all mean, I am not sure. Maybe it means nothing at all, maybe there is a lesson to be learned between the two stories. What I do know is that until I return to nature and follow her once again I won't understand...maybe it is time for me to walk through the opening of my mind and take a chance, and be as persistent as that Chickadee...and maybe stop following blindly and think about my actions?

Food for thought,
Pixies:)

Harmony

Hello,

I just got back from a two day work related trip in Lockport. This is the first time I have visited this area and I must say it is a very nice scenic area. Immediately after getting out of my car by our cottage, I noticed the scent of the salt air. Many don't know this, but I am attracted to the salt air and the sound of the waves crashing at a beach.

The combination of this effect changes my personality instantly and completely. It is almost as if rational thought is no longer allowed in this environment, and only the senses are capable of picking up all that is natural. I had a friend with me and as we talked, I engulfed the sights and sound around me. I almost felt like I separated part of me to engage this revitalization that I felt I need.

As my mind became calm I was then able to total concentrate on what my friend was saying and an in depth conversation ensued. I must say it seems like so long since that feeling of contentment filled me. I also know it will be short lived, but I will carry that time as long as I can until it has faded and a new experience is need to replace this contentment.

The one constant I found while there was while watching the different sea birds interact with each other. Although they were weary of the other and watched to see if one had something the other wanted, it was their flight which spell bound me.

As they glided into the wind, they would join in a formation as if a universal feeling of freedom had found them. They weren't looking around for the next morsel, rather they seem to invite the others to let the wind carry them and to be content for that moment. I will analyse what I learned in both my work environment and what nature was trying to tell or show me.

Have a good day,
Pixie:)

Still of the Night

Hello everyone,

I was over to a friends for a coffee earlier, the one thing I noted was how still this night is.
After the wind and snow it was very noticeable to me. I noted the frost under my steps as I walked and knew I had better be careful as I didn't have boots on.

The calm of this night is some how different, the silence seems to carry on forever if that makes sense to any of you, sometime silence can be deafening and tonight is one of those nights. I think if a twig would have snap I would have jumped out of my skin I am sure.

I think I will do as the bears do during our cold long winters, barricade myself in and wait for the spring to wake me from my slumber. Nature does it best as we know, she has figured out how to handle everything life throws at us...how I wish I had that wisdom to get me through.
But like everyone else, we will get by the best way we can...right or wrong.

Until next time,
Pixies

Remembrance Day

Hello,

Today I would like to ask that we all take the time and remember why we can sit here and read this Blog, and create them. I respectfully ask that each person take the 2 minutes of silence today and imagine what might have happened if those brave people wouldn't have scarified everything for us all.

Here is a link to a video that says more in a song than I could say with all the writings on the Internet.
http://www.slide.com/r/4M2jASNSsD-5qRP7aOZ1TguPuVEKlbdJ

I wish you all a peaceful day,
Pixies

Flu Shot

Hello everyone,

I had my flu shot the other day as I do every year. I have had some effects from them in the past, but this time I know it made me sick. I was feeling good, until about 3 hours after I had the shot. I got extremely tired feeling, and a little nausea. By that night it was a little worse and my throat and ears got sore, the hot flashes also started.

I think that was the first time in my life I had flashes of heat like that...and I didn't like it at all.
I went to my doctor but she didn't think it was from the shot so she put me off work just encase something was starting and so I wouldn't spread it at work. Well last night was bad, I didn't feel well at all, this morning it was about the same.

My friend who lives next door brought me over some chicken soup she made for dinner, now that did seem to help...and maybe because I wasn't eating much as I didn't feel well. She also did my wash and hung it out, she is a good friend and I do appreciate that...and I won't forget it either. I managed to get through today ok, but I worry how long this night will be as I slept a lot today, but I will soon find out. But right now all my symptoms are just about gone, the only thing I still feel is a little fatigue, and that is why I suspect the shot.

My understanding of the flu shot is that it changes from year to year depending on what type of flu is coming. So why I wonder do so many find it hard to believe that this changing shot will indeed affect people in different ways every year. I know they would never say if this is true because people might stop getting the shot. I wouldn't stop getting it, but I would at least be prepared for the effects that might go with them, and maybe have some understanding of what might happen from them. Anyway...

Kelly and I have been out a few times now, but still no sign of my dream man. Maybe he will come and knock on my door with that single flower I talked about...ya right:) Anyway I have finally joined face book, everyone seems to be on it so I thought I would try it. There is an application called are you interested, I have added it to my page and I have had a few yes replies, but they are all so far away. But it is fun so I will continue, and you just never know when something might happen.

Well take care,
Pixies:)

Storm

Hello,

Well we had a nasty storm go through Nova Scotia last night, power was off for a while. I woke this morning to downed power lines and trees all over the place. The house next to mine had the power meter and stack ripped off from the wind.

In this sheltered area it seemed to be worse between 3-4 am when I was wakened by a bang. This is when the broken limbs from the trees were hitting here. I saw a lot of washed out driveways and flooded areas today as well. But thank goodness it passed, and we survived another storm.

Speaking of storms, some of you might be wondering how I am doing in my single life. Well things are going ok, I can't say it is exciting...it isn't. I really miss having companionship, I have decided that if I meet someone I am going to give it a try. I don't like being alone, this I have found out. That doesn't mean I will settle for the first thing that comes along, I couldn't do that. I need to feel some emotion from a person before I could consider getting to know them better.

More important they would have to show a genuine interest in me, and not be afraid to show it.
But I will wait to see what happens, some of you might be thinking, but she has only been alone for five months. To that I say I have been alone for two years and five months, that is how long it has been since I felt wanted or needed, so that is the date I choose to use. Now you can see why I am ready to move on.

I can spend my days so easy, but when evening comes I dread it. I was hoping that would improve once I moved here, and it has a bit, but there is no replacing the comfort and warmth when someone cares for you. Last night one of my friends and I kicked back and had some beer, we had some good laughs, but again it reminded me that I really don't want to be alone. I am a people person and I feel so empty when I am alone. So now I have to try and find someone I like to fill this void or at least try.
Anyway that is where I am in my emotional battle, I now know I can make it alone, but I don't like it at all.

I also know there was a few of you out there who were having your own trouble and problem, I truly hope things have improved for you, I have not forgotten you. I will try to keep you updated when I can, but somehow I think it will be sometime yet before I find that someone, but if I do...I will share that happiness with you.

Until next time,
Pixie

Relax

Good morning,

Things have been quiet, and I am enjoying this. Last night I had a hot oil bath in candle light, now I was very relaxed by the time I was done. The kids stopped here around 8, and I decided I wanted to relax and hopefully have a good nights sleep.

It did work, I slept most of the night and I do feel rested this morning. I highly suggest this for those of you who are under a great deal of stress. I used a three wick Pillar candle and sat it where I could watch the flames flicker. I was amazed at how intent I watched the flames and how my mind followed them.

This allow me to relax and stop the continued turmoil we all deal with in our minds. I will add one other thing, if you have a partner it might benefit the both of you to try this... and may lead to an interesting evening;)

Time to get ready for work, have a good day everyone,
Pixie:)