Saturday, April 26, 2014
Loss
Hello everyone,
I had to put my cat down tonight and loss doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.
I had taken another cat in a while back from the nursing home I worked in, but this cat was so different.
Maximum acted different and was different, but he made his way right into my heart.
I am so lost tonight trying to understand how I lost him after having him for such a short time.
For the first time since I am on my own he was with me 24/7 as I worked from my home.
Oh yes we had struggles but soon he was waking me in the morning in the nicest way, and made sure he got his cuddles before sleeping each night. For the first time in a long time I opened my heart and let him in... and he was taken.
I struggle with this as to why, when it seems love only leads to pain.
I know the saying, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...
well I am not sure about that. It seems to me that love has lead to nothing but pain in my life,
if it hasn't for you then God has blessed you.
Maybe this is my lesson in life... stay alone and protect your heart... for no one else will.
The pain in this story tonight is real and raw and maybe I will feel different tomorrow.
But for those of you who have read my whole blog, I think you will understand my bewilderment.
Seems to me if I remain alone I can avoid nights like this when the world seems to go on and I am stuck in so much pain.
This blog is about truth and this is my truth for this night... it will be a long night for me.
Maximum my cat is not here for his cuddles and my assurance I am not alone.
I hope you all appreciate those humans in your life as well as those adopted creatures you have in your life as an extended family.
Until next time,
Pixies
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1 comment:
I am feeling it too sis and he was your cat. He touched us all in a short amount of time. He was a very unique animal and I don't think we'll ever see another; like him. He was a gift...always remember that. A gift to give the "right" kind of love to. I don't think he got much growing up. Sound familiar?
I think, though it hurts now, you were meant to get Maxi. He would have likely died a long time ago, without you, and not with the compassion and love; he got tonight. Please remember that.
When you got Max and I got Jenna, from the same place, I honestly thought Jenna would go first. She was a senior, who came to me sick and had many issues throughout the past year. I think that's why I can't get over the shock. He was supposed to go home...he was too young...he wasn't Jenna.
Know Jenna and I are here for you. I know you won't want to see her for a while. Not till your heart heals a bit anyway. But she is your link to your furbaby, as they grew up together, for a bit. She will give you love you desperately need. I have proof of that. She gave it to me, when I came walking through the door crying, tonight as well.
I miss him too dude. I will miss his talking and how he used to strut, like he owned the place. Take care and hugs. ♥
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