Old Feelings Return

Hello,

I have a story I will share with you, for some it will mean nothing, but for me it is a returning to things the way they use to be. I was visiting with my friend at work yesterday afternoon, when in the door flew this moth or miller, I am not sure which it was, it was mostly black.

It flew in and circled around me, and I said to my friend look at that, we were very excited as this little creature circled. I finally said jokingly, ok now calm down and come and sit with us, my friend caught right on and said yes do settle down a bit.

I held out my hand and it landed there as if right on cue, we sat and talked to this little visitor not believing it was actually inside sitting with us. It was walking around on my hand and made itself at home, it was tickling my hand as it did so, and I found it hard not to scratch :) Finally I said to my friend I need to let him out before he gets hurt in here, she wanted the same for our little friend.

So I went into the dining room and found a place to slip him out, he flew away but left behind a wonderful conversation with my friend and I. I reminded her today about our friend because she did forget about him, but I will keep reminding her about it.

Tonight I was tired after a hard but good day at work, and had a nap on my couch; I was awakened by the sound of a bird chirping by my door. So I sat up, and when I did the chirping stopped, so I went out and sat and watched the birds and chipmunks making their nightly rounds.

The birds are very nervous except for one, he is not bothered by my presents and always looks at me when I go out, and then continues with his feed. The chipmunks seems to have accepted me as well, I always save the heels off my bread for them, and now they seem to look for it.

I watched them running about for a while and realized the birds and the chipmunks had all the seeds cleaned up from the ground. I thought about the sunflower seeds I had inside and went for them, when I came out chipmunk look directly at me, and as I walked towards him he walked towards me. I thought he would run as I never tried to approach him before, but he came right to the bottom of the step where I was standing, and was watching me intently.

I opened the can and sprinkled some seeds on the ground right beside him; he calmly reached over and started eating. I sprinkled a few handfuls there for him and his other friends, and they also came and gladly ate. For the first time in a long time I felt a familiar feeling stirring within me…it almost felt like the warmth coming back to my soul.

I have always been soft hearted, and I have a want to love all who are around me, from people to nature and all that is in between. But life has always kept that feeling from coming completely forward. I want that feeling to continue; I always felt like I could get lost in this feeling, and somehow join with it, when these wonderful things happen.

I often wonder if I put myself in a place where only nature and I existed what would happen. I think I might find this oneness I heard about a few times. It is such a strong feeling when it happens, and I have missed it this last while back. Maybe I am just full of myself I don’t know, but I always felt there was something, a pull if you will, to try and find out… maybe someday I will.

Tonight is the full moon; I have always felt her pull. I feel her tonight and would love to go out and greet her as she arrives, but I must be so careful now as it is still not safe for me to be out and about. But would I love to watch her climb in the sky, while looking over the water. Water also has a very strong affect on me, and the combination of the two would be a wonder to experience.


Maybe one day I will be able to do that, go by myself to a beach and watch in wonderment, as I see nature doing what has become an un-exciting event to many. If I had a choice this is how I would re-fill my emptied soul, I would fill it with nature, nurture, and love. I would rekindle that spark which I once experienced through my walks, and from truly and purely caring for others, and wanting nothing in return but that wonderful feeling one gets from doing right and good.

This; I now realize is honestly what I miss the most. I could never put these thoughts down at one time, I would have been afraid of ridicule, but now it really doesn’t matter what those people think anymore.

When I feel that warmth filling my soul, I could almost burst with it; and then I would want to wrap it around the world for all to feel,knowing this would be right. And know; if I ever find a way of sharing that feeling, I will, be very sure I will.

Until next time,
Pixie:)