Day of thought

Hello again,

Today seems to be a deep contemplation day; I spent most of trying to look forward to see what might await me. It is hard to do that under the circumstances, but I did manage to make some decisions. After sitting a starring at the waves at the beach today I allow myself to think a head a bit, by trying to decide if I want to remain single or if eventually I want to get involved again in another relationship.

I decided I don’t mind being alone so much, but I don’t think it is something I would want to be permanent. Does that mean I am looking, no. It would have to happen naturally, and this time I would have to know without a doubt it was right. I would also make sure they held some of my interests, but they would have to have different ones of their own to share.

That would be another important fact, sharing. I believe sharing and caring become one in the same, once the sharing stops so does the caring in my opinion. This person who probably doesn’t exist, would also have to enjoy music, quiet evenings listening to different kinds of music as we look deeply into each others eyes…now girls how does that sound? Sounds good to me:)

I don’t watch a lot of T.V. but when we would, it would be snuggled together comfortably, not on opposite sides of the room. Imagine, short moon light walks, and occasional nights of sleeping under the stars, cuddling close to keep warm…ok girl’s breath with me now. Maybe we expect too much from potential partners these days.

But I have given this a great deal of thought and I will continue with this imaginary man.
Things that would be very important are those little things that no one thinks about anymore. I am talking about a guy opening a door for you, looking you in the eyes when talking to you, and most important, looking you in the eyes before that wonderful kiss…ok girl’s maybe I went to far that time…cold water helps:)

If we are asking lets ask for it all shall we? Well how about the other little things that people may call silly but they would be so great. The one thing that I truly like is someone playing with my hair; no I don’t mean messing it up, I mean slowing running their finger through it in a gentle massage…is it getting warm in here, ha ha. Seriously, those little things are so important in life. I would take a foot massage over an expensive dinner any day, a walk on the beach over a day trip, and most important, a man who is not afraid to kiss my forehead in public to show how he feels.

Those of you who are still in a marriage and all of these things have stopped or simply never existed, maybe it is worth a try to rekindle things. To tell you the truth, at the beginning of this year I tried very hard to get my X to do just a couple of these things, but all I met was resistance and those dam words…”Don’t be so foolish”! Oh how I have come to hate those words.

Now back on track, I am kind of enjoying creating my perfect man. Now the only other thing that I did think about for my dream man was of course a flower, not a bunch, just a single flower to represent the thought that says, “I am thinking about you”.

Will I ever find this dream man, no I doubt that he even exists, but if I had to think about this today this is what I would want before I would even consider another relationship…but somehow I think it will be a long lonely life if I look for him…but girl’s, there is always fantasy, and I have already met him there… and oh what fun we have...now I need a shower! :)) See what happens when I finally get some peace and quiet:)

Until next time,
Pixie:)