New beginning?

Hello everyone,

I am hoping the last of my divorce papers are now signed, waiting for them to return.
I am happy again as I am starting to date again, I have been talking to someone for a few weeks now. We met for the first time last Saturday and we plan on getting together again this weekend.

It is nice having something to look forward to now and I do like him very much. We are taking it slow and putting no label on to it. I am finally more content in my life, I had to let some family go to keep my peace, but I have made my peace with that.

I am going to try and enjoy my life a bit and see what it was meant to be like. For those of you still going through a break up or planning on leaving, think it through and try to plan it first. I was forced out and had no choice, and if I can give one piece of advice to you, it would be...don't be the one to leave even if the police tell you too.

They told me I had to go, I was in shock from being choked and watching blood on my families face after he attacked them. If my mind would have been working I could have told them to make him go as he became violent, and I know now they would have had to.

I can not change all that happened to me, but I can put the word out to anyone who will listen. The police that was here almost forced me to go using their authority to intimidate me. I urge you to stand your ground if you are not at fault, let the guilty be the ones to leave, and let us have what little peace would remain, and we all know that is not much, but when in the middle of hell...it means a lot.

Take care until next time,
Pixies

Almost spring

Hello been a while,

I am sitting in the sun this morning at my computer enjoying a nice cup of coffee.
While the sun sinks in and finds my soul to warm with it with wonderful rays of calmness, sending me reflecting over the last couple of years in my life.

It seems now that things are calm and safe again, and I finally have back most of what was taken from me, the one thing that has disappeared is my friends.
Seems life has a way of balancing things out with wants and needs.

My best friend is still around of course and happy in her life. I am not saying she doesn't have problems, but she is at least in a happy place to deal with them. But slowly I am making new friends and working to keep busy.

Spring will soon be here and I will resume my walks and I am hoping the wonderful experiences I encountered with nature a couple years ago. I really miss those walks and the great insights I would receive while walking.

And for those who was there when I was going through my ordeal, and are wondering about my family, for the most part things are ok except for one.
It seems me and my mother will never see eye to eye about what happened to both of us during my turmoil. I have excepted the differences are just to great between us, and we will remain apart and distant from each other even though we only live a few hundred feet apart.

I know some will say, but she is your mother, but only so much water can wash under and over the bridge before it washes out...it has washed out. I am upset by this and hurt also, but I have left the anger of it behind and decided to move forward in life as I always seem to walk alone for the most part. But I will say my sister and brothers have been a great help to me and so far we are keeping thing separate from the issue at home.

I am also ready to date again, I have been out a few times and enjoyed it. But no special someone to make me want to try another relationship. I am talking to people through this medium also and who knows what may happen one day. For now I have the freedom to enjoy my single life style...and take all the closet space lol

My divorce should be complete by the end of this month so I can close forever this chapter of my life. My ex's brother and wife are coming to stay with me a bit this summer and I am looking forward to having them here for a while. Great to have company again, and I am very glad this divorce did not interfere with our friendship as we have gone through a lot over the years as a family.

I am seriously considering writing about my life sort of a biography, but I also know if I do I would have to keep it to myself as many would be upset with my view of the details as I lived them. But who knows, the thought is there and for now so is the time to begin one.

Well my coffee cup is empty and the sun is moving away from my window, telling me to get started with my day and my plans. I am hoping I still have a few readers left out there.

Until the next time,
Pixies

2009

Happy belated New Year!!
it has been a long time since my last post and much has happened. I am getting ready for work this morning so I will keep it short for now.

As I told you I am back in my home and a settlement has be reached. I am not divorced yet but that is all that is left of my old life now. I am still single as well. I did date a couple of people but just friends as it turned out, which is good we all need friends.

I am content now by myself and enjoying some peace and quiet in my life for a nice change. I have meet so many wonderful people on the web I am grateful for that. There are also a lot of not so nice people on the web...but is this not life in reality as well.

Take care for now and hope to post again soon,
Pixies:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello everyone,

Yes I am still here lol. I have considered writing on here many times but something always comes up as you know. I have listened to the birds singing and the sun beaming through my window and enter to my soul.

I have been trying to find that which was lost in me. But now I find it may not have been lost, rather self has changed and is reinventing, very slowly with an understanding. What I perceived as long dark silences, I now see as time of discovery. I was going out a lot and enjoying my freedom with my friends in the form of dancing and drinking. Now I am more content to be home and just to be.

I still worry about being alone and facing the daily challenges that come along, but I face them one at a time the best way I can. I have dated for a while and with a few people but either friendship or aquintances. I am still talking to people and will still go out but now I am more content to experience this time for now.

I will say one I am talking to has caught my interest, but for now we are just getting to know each other, and it is to soon to know yet.

I wanted to wish all a Happy Thanksgiving and I am anxiously waiting the wonderful meal my mom is making.

Take care everyone,
Pixies:)

Doing well

Hello everyone,

I am doing very good now, I have my place cleaned up and comfortable now. You will begin to see my maiden name appear now on some of my post as I eventually want to go back to using it. Ann Kelly/Gallant, soon to be Ann Kelly.

This morning a strong sense of writing came to me so I have put my thoughts into words. I am adding them for you to read and I hope enjoy, I do believe an awakening of sorts is now happening for me, and I would like to share that with you.

Enjoy my friends,
Pixie:)

7/10/2008
Dawn of Awaking

It is the dawn of my awakening,
All senses tinkle with anticipation
Some good some bad, for people’s thoughts can be so sad.

They await that which they do not understand,
and wish unhappy things to their fellow man
But on the dawning of all things there is more to what the meaning of life brings

We glimpse such a small part of true reality of our being
Complicated but yet simple in our structure of life
Insight is there to be held,
But only by those who know of the true spirituality realm

In this realm things are true and waiting,
Patients of evolution created by the one
For only he knows of the grand scheme
Imagine the horror in which he has seen

Within the sin a true heart may exists,
Covered by pain by a life without bliss
Only true understanding can bring it forth
For he is waiting and is our source

So be thee aware of what lies beyond the human eye
For we are exactly alike you and I
The difference is beneath the exterior shell
And the one perfect one knows each of us well

Ann Kelly/Gallant

Calm

Hello everyone,

Things are still good here, I now have my place clean and tidy. It is so nice to wake in familiar settings. I am feeling happy and content now, but I also know things are still unsettled. I am working on having things finished and final, I will never look back once I have moved on and forward in my life.

I am sure things will not be coming up roses, but at least I will be walking my own path, and decide which direction I wish to take when I meet an intersection. I do find time starting to get long now that a lot of the work is done, but this will improve when I return to work. I have taken some vacation time to adjust to my surroundings again, and give my mind some much needed rest.

I was feeling creative today and wrote another poem, and I am going to share it with all of you who read my Blog. If you copy it or share it please leave my name attached to it, I would appreciate that. I hope you enjoy my mind and its thoughts about the night time, always fun creating something new.

Until next time,
Pixies:)

Present of Night

The light has faded leaving the way,
For darkness to come and evil to play

The creaks and the sounds send shivers through all
While the darkness waits and slivers in the halls

Through fear and misdeed it will have its way,
Leaving horror in its own wake until darkness fades

When the light approaches, evil then has fear
The warmth and love will soon appear

The shivers then belong to all who dwell in the dark
The light will fill all with its pure love of heart

So in the darkness we must abide
But the light will soon come and be by our side

Then the evil and darkness will have to run
But will always return with the setting of the sun.

Ann Kelly/Gallant June 28, 2008

Changes

Hello everyone,

Wow talk about changes that have come since my last post. I am back in my home again...yes I am, and legally! What a mess I had to clean here, it was terrible. But now it is shinny and clean again and looking more like home than it ever did! For the first time in a year I am truly happy. Now once the paper work is done and divorce papers signed I will be as happy as anyone dare be lol

I want to thank my best friend Kelly for her support though all my troubles. Without her help I am sure things would have turned out much worse than anyone would have thought. She is my family in the best sense of the word. Her life has improved too and she is on a journey of education, and self exploration.

My family has helped me a lot in getting settled in here and to get things working again. Most things are in need of repair, but that is minor for now. My ex did a lot of damage to my personal belongings, but he will pay for that through the courts. So I am happy to say things are much better.

That doesn't mean it is over yet, this I am sure of. The first night I was here my ex showed up and tried to force his way in. The police said because his lawyer didn't contact him and tell him I was here, so they wouldn't charge him, even though he broke the screen door handle. But he will pay for that to through the court and it will come out of his share once again.

But for now I am happy and content, and to me he doesn't exists any more, and even without the papers, I am now a free spirit who feels at home and at peace. I wish this peace will surround all who have read my story. One day I will fill in all the information I have left out on purpose until this is completely over. I can tell you, it will be a good read for sure, as long as you are not the one living it.

Good night my friends, God bless
Pixie:)