Troubled

Hello,

I seem to have revered to be restless tonight, after feeling content for a while. I think the full moon plays a large part on my emotions. I went for a walk to my sanctuary tonight, but this didn't seem to lift the heaviness I am feeling tonight.

I went for a walk around the mall and at least that helped pass some time. I am now feeling a little tired after working hard today and walking tonight. Now I am calmer and might actually sleep. I must say the moon looks so soulful tonight as I watch her climbing to her limits.

The moon and the sun fascinate me so much, they seem to release my imagination...and anyone who knows me also know that can be dangerous indeed! I did have a good visit with my 92 year old friend today, I even shared some of my poems with her. She seemed to really like them and ask a lot of questions about how I came about writing them. Now trying to explain the meaning of something so personal to anyone for me is difficult, but I did my best and she seemed to understand.

I received some news today that has also upset me a bit and I think that is a lot of why I am so out of sorts tonight. I won't go into details but I am sure most of you can guess what the origins are anyway. I will say I can get very upset and angry, but I hope to god I never become pure evil. To be able to live with that much hatred and spite is something even in my worst anger I never had.

I will never understand how these things happen, but the truth is it no longer matters in a way. But in some ways it just reminds me of all the wasted years, and maybe a time gone by when I might have been with someone who really cared. I consider this being robbed of the possibility of happiness and contentment, I might have had.

Anyway enough for the night, I am saying way to much tonight. I just have to remember I am moving on, and someday this will just be a nightmare, I will wake and be relieved that it is over.

Until it passes,
Pixie