Hello,
I am not sure anyone still checks my page, but just encase anyone does I will drop a note, and say hi. Things are still in limbo, but I do believe they are about to move. It is very hard to try and be optimistic when everything stays at a stand still for long periods of time.
Yesterday as I sat at my computer and stared out the window, I almost came on and wrote a post. I watched the billions and billions of snow flakes slowly fallen on an existing blanket of white. I contemplated those flakes, and as I did so, those flakes became all the misery in the world...it seemed like so much pain was falling it was unmeasurable in size and emotion.
This realization reminded me I am not alone in my unhappiness, so many have different pains and struggles they must also deal with. And as I watched and contemplated more I also noticed something else. As these never ending flakes fell, the sun would peak out for a brief time, and melt some of the fallen flakes. Once the sun disappeared more flakes covered those that had vanished.
Again I thought about this process, and concluded, that someones pain was just melted away. Lots more will experience the pain, but some will find relief as the pain moves on in turn. The brief melting is what will get us through our storms of confusion. Some how this little story will hopefully help someone out there who needs to see those snow flakes for what they are. That person will then understand what will happen when the sun shines, and melts those same worries away. More worries will come later, nothing we do can stop that, but when the sun melts the present, at least then we might get a slight glimpse of a possible future.
Until next time friends,
Pixies:)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Still here
Hello everyone,
Just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know I am still here.
I am just waiting for the world to stop spinning so fast so I can steady myself.
I am sure it will all end soon...at least I hope...7 months and still waitng for good luck and peace of mind!
Time will take its time,
Pixies
Just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know I am still here.
I am just waiting for the world to stop spinning so fast so I can steady myself.
I am sure it will all end soon...at least I hope...7 months and still waitng for good luck and peace of mind!
Time will take its time,
Pixies
Monday, February 4, 2008
Changes
Hello again,
Well I guess some of you might have been waiting for some of the writing I talked about in my last post...well things happen. It would seem the calm is over again for a while.
Lots of things have come up in all area of my like making it impossible for the creativity to come forth. How long this one will last is anyone's guess, we will just have to wait and see what happens. Until things get a little better I won't be writing much.
Until then,
Pixie
Well I guess some of you might have been waiting for some of the writing I talked about in my last post...well things happen. It would seem the calm is over again for a while.
Lots of things have come up in all area of my like making it impossible for the creativity to come forth. How long this one will last is anyone's guess, we will just have to wait and see what happens. Until things get a little better I won't be writing much.
Until then,
Pixie
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Changes
Hello again,
I had such a good day yesterday I want to share it with you. My best friend Kelly and me had all day together yesterday. We met for lunch, and a good friend joined us. We had a good time with our friend, and had a wonderfully unrealistic conversation...it was good. Then we did a little shopping, and met a new friend, we laughed as hard with him as we did earlier.
Then we were invited to another friends for supper...and a couple of beer;) It was a wonderful meal, and a very good conversation. She was a good hostess, and her place is very nice.
Then we went to Karaoke around 9, I don't get up and sing....I wouldn't do that to people! Ha ha It was a good time, I didn't arrive home until 2:30 this morning....hence why I am still setting at my computer trying to clear my thoughts a bit.
I am finally enjoying myself. It took a long time, and although I still have very bad days, I also have some very good days. I know some of you are still struggling...believe that very slowly, good change will come...I won't tell you it will stay because it doesn't. However; if the good times come more and more....then we will be sad less and less:)
I have also noticed another change in me lately, I seem to have become a very somber and serious person. I now sense a movement in the completely opposite direction, I now seem to have the need to create, to let what I feel release from within me. Only those who feel these rushes of creativity will understand the need to express them. For me it has come in the form of writing a very romantic continuously changing story.
I will probably shock a lot of you by saying that...because my life has been so serious...and yes even life threatening by time...I do believe I need to experience this. Do I intend to write a book...not now, maybe one day. The reason I tell all of you this, is because I am going to change some of my writing habits from being so life serious, to the creation that seem to be emanating from within me.
I am sure by now most of you are confused by my meaning. I will give you a few examples of the strong focus coming from within me, this just came out into a conversation one day...surprised me as well as those I was with. But they have increased in frequency, and I am now enjoying them. While talking one day, I said without knowing I was going to:
"My soul cried to be free, so I grew wings to accommodate its wishes"...to say it felt profound is putting it mildly!
Now they are more in a poetic and romantic form.
Such as:
"May the milky way find and nourish you with silky pleasure"
"Is our journey to pass as fiery comets in the night sky...silently blazing separate paths? "
"Slowly lay your head on the softest cloud in heaven, and I will cover you with protection and comfort..."
Ok, I think I have shocked some of you enough for now. But I will be letting this new creativity have a voice. Some might like it...others won't.
You must decide if you want to follow me on this different journey.
How long will it last...I don't know. It may leave as quickly as it came.....or maybe it is a new beginning...or part of me.
Have a good day my friends,
Pixie:)
I had such a good day yesterday I want to share it with you. My best friend Kelly and me had all day together yesterday. We met for lunch, and a good friend joined us. We had a good time with our friend, and had a wonderfully unrealistic conversation...it was good. Then we did a little shopping, and met a new friend, we laughed as hard with him as we did earlier.
Then we were invited to another friends for supper...and a couple of beer;) It was a wonderful meal, and a very good conversation. She was a good hostess, and her place is very nice.
Then we went to Karaoke around 9, I don't get up and sing....I wouldn't do that to people! Ha ha It was a good time, I didn't arrive home until 2:30 this morning....hence why I am still setting at my computer trying to clear my thoughts a bit.
I am finally enjoying myself. It took a long time, and although I still have very bad days, I also have some very good days. I know some of you are still struggling...believe that very slowly, good change will come...I won't tell you it will stay because it doesn't. However; if the good times come more and more....then we will be sad less and less:)
I have also noticed another change in me lately, I seem to have become a very somber and serious person. I now sense a movement in the completely opposite direction, I now seem to have the need to create, to let what I feel release from within me. Only those who feel these rushes of creativity will understand the need to express them. For me it has come in the form of writing a very romantic continuously changing story.
I will probably shock a lot of you by saying that...because my life has been so serious...and yes even life threatening by time...I do believe I need to experience this. Do I intend to write a book...not now, maybe one day. The reason I tell all of you this, is because I am going to change some of my writing habits from being so life serious, to the creation that seem to be emanating from within me.
I am sure by now most of you are confused by my meaning. I will give you a few examples of the strong focus coming from within me, this just came out into a conversation one day...surprised me as well as those I was with. But they have increased in frequency, and I am now enjoying them. While talking one day, I said without knowing I was going to:
"My soul cried to be free, so I grew wings to accommodate its wishes"...to say it felt profound is putting it mildly!
Now they are more in a poetic and romantic form.
Such as:
"May the milky way find and nourish you with silky pleasure"
"Is our journey to pass as fiery comets in the night sky...silently blazing separate paths? "
"Slowly lay your head on the softest cloud in heaven, and I will cover you with protection and comfort..."
Ok, I think I have shocked some of you enough for now. But I will be letting this new creativity have a voice. Some might like it...others won't.
You must decide if you want to follow me on this different journey.
How long will it last...I don't know. It may leave as quickly as it came.....or maybe it is a new beginning...or part of me.
Have a good day my friends,
Pixie:)
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Dance
Hello,
I went to a dance last night with my friends, it was different to say the least. I have promised myself I would do different things now that I am single. I don't remember the name of the band, but they played Jazz, Swing, and Blue's, as I said it was different for me.
I like easy listening and light rock. It was very nice to see people dancing in a way I haven't seen except for on T.V. Some of them had such good rhythm, and experience from years of practice together. They glided across the floor as if the wind carried them into a gentle breath of time and music.
They held each other with a respect that is not seen in today's dance mix. I do believe I would like to learn the skill of ballroom dancing, who knows...maybe one day it will be me gliding my way across a dance floor staring contently into a handsome mans eyes....but that I noticed is a must for a good dance, not just practised moves, but a caring, that seems to flow with the couple as they go.
Yes this is a different observation than my last post, but that is the point of observing different things. To come to, and change ones point of view...is that not what makes us grow as a people, and more important, an individual?
Peaceful dreams friends,
Pixie
I went to a dance last night with my friends, it was different to say the least. I have promised myself I would do different things now that I am single. I don't remember the name of the band, but they played Jazz, Swing, and Blue's, as I said it was different for me.
I like easy listening and light rock. It was very nice to see people dancing in a way I haven't seen except for on T.V. Some of them had such good rhythm, and experience from years of practice together. They glided across the floor as if the wind carried them into a gentle breath of time and music.
They held each other with a respect that is not seen in today's dance mix. I do believe I would like to learn the skill of ballroom dancing, who knows...maybe one day it will be me gliding my way across a dance floor staring contently into a handsome mans eyes....but that I noticed is a must for a good dance, not just practised moves, but a caring, that seems to flow with the couple as they go.
Yes this is a different observation than my last post, but that is the point of observing different things. To come to, and change ones point of view...is that not what makes us grow as a people, and more important, an individual?
Peaceful dreams friends,
Pixie
Monday, January 14, 2008
Happy or Not
Hello everyone,
I have been watching people together lately. Families or couples as I sit having coffee in different places. I wonder if they are still together because they are in love, or has it become a convenience in their lives.
Only they truly know that for sure, but I can tell you what I observed, a good many seem indifferent to each other. I hear lots of "I don't care, do what you want or pick up what you want". No discussion about anything.
The children seem unaware of the discussion around them and are content with the fascination of the new toys, and wanting them. More than once I watched one or the other of a couple checking out someone who has just walked by...it is very easy to see what their thoughts are;)
I now wonder after all this studying of human nature, and living it, if we can be truly happy with the same partner through life. It seems life moves in, and sets us into such a routine that we forget the person we are with changes as much as we do.
I believe this is a natural state, we all evolve as we learn and experience all the different emotions of life. Maybe the trick is learning to except the change within our selves as well as those of our partner. Maybe that is what keeps the sparks alive within us, and pulls us together instead of apart.
What do you think? I would like to hear your thoughts on this subject, if anyone cares to share them.
Until next time,
Pixie;)
I have been watching people together lately. Families or couples as I sit having coffee in different places. I wonder if they are still together because they are in love, or has it become a convenience in their lives.
Only they truly know that for sure, but I can tell you what I observed, a good many seem indifferent to each other. I hear lots of "I don't care, do what you want or pick up what you want". No discussion about anything.
The children seem unaware of the discussion around them and are content with the fascination of the new toys, and wanting them. More than once I watched one or the other of a couple checking out someone who has just walked by...it is very easy to see what their thoughts are;)
I now wonder after all this studying of human nature, and living it, if we can be truly happy with the same partner through life. It seems life moves in, and sets us into such a routine that we forget the person we are with changes as much as we do.
I believe this is a natural state, we all evolve as we learn and experience all the different emotions of life. Maybe the trick is learning to except the change within our selves as well as those of our partner. Maybe that is what keeps the sparks alive within us, and pulls us together instead of apart.
What do you think? I would like to hear your thoughts on this subject, if anyone cares to share them.
Until next time,
Pixie;)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Cosmic Universe Explained
Hello again,
I have such a strong sense that I need to explain a comment I made on my last blog entry. My sense is people misunderstood my meaning, when I said a wrong had been made right by my passing events in the last year.
My sense tells me people are thinking, does she think she is so important in the grand scheme of things? Well, no I don't. If anything I feel the opposite, I feel a very insignificant part of this vast universe. I will try and explain what I meant.
Imagine a very fine piece of fabric, a very small stitch in the fabric is torn, but it is so small it appears unimportant in the looks and feel of this material. Over time this small tear feels the pull and strain on its weaken state, and begins to let go under the pressure. By itself none of the other stitches feels the weakened ones strain, until the closest stitch feels a pull on its purpose in the oneness of the fabric.
Now imagine the chain of events that follows over time, the entire fabric will feel the strain. Eventually a massive whole may appear, or a very noticeable tear. Now most fabrics, or articles made from this material have stress points which are made stronger at the time of creation to compensate for the added stress. But if the other stitches are also pulling on the stress point, then a hole or rift is created.
The question becomes, is this piece of fabric, or article of clothing important enough to repair, or will it be discarded. Each individual will need to answer that question for them selves. If it is repaired in time, no one would be aware that there was a problem, except for those stitshes involved. If however it is discarded, the gap will never be repaired, or improve. It will remain in this state until the end of time, or until someone sees its worth and repairs or recovers it.
I hope this explains more of what I truly meant by my statement...my guess is I just created even more questions. I am only a small stitch in the fabric in time, not known by most of the other stitches around me. But if myself or my fellow stitches weaken around me, then we become aware of a problem.
Will we wait until the tear is noticeable my friends,
Pixie:)
I have such a strong sense that I need to explain a comment I made on my last blog entry. My sense is people misunderstood my meaning, when I said a wrong had been made right by my passing events in the last year.
My sense tells me people are thinking, does she think she is so important in the grand scheme of things? Well, no I don't. If anything I feel the opposite, I feel a very insignificant part of this vast universe. I will try and explain what I meant.
Imagine a very fine piece of fabric, a very small stitch in the fabric is torn, but it is so small it appears unimportant in the looks and feel of this material. Over time this small tear feels the pull and strain on its weaken state, and begins to let go under the pressure. By itself none of the other stitches feels the weakened ones strain, until the closest stitch feels a pull on its purpose in the oneness of the fabric.
Now imagine the chain of events that follows over time, the entire fabric will feel the strain. Eventually a massive whole may appear, or a very noticeable tear. Now most fabrics, or articles made from this material have stress points which are made stronger at the time of creation to compensate for the added stress. But if the other stitches are also pulling on the stress point, then a hole or rift is created.
The question becomes, is this piece of fabric, or article of clothing important enough to repair, or will it be discarded. Each individual will need to answer that question for them selves. If it is repaired in time, no one would be aware that there was a problem, except for those stitshes involved. If however it is discarded, the gap will never be repaired, or improve. It will remain in this state until the end of time, or until someone sees its worth and repairs or recovers it.
I hope this explains more of what I truly meant by my statement...my guess is I just created even more questions. I am only a small stitch in the fabric in time, not known by most of the other stitches around me. But if myself or my fellow stitches weaken around me, then we become aware of a problem.
Will we wait until the tear is noticeable my friends,
Pixie:)
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